i think its working..

i wanted to see if i have lost any weight , so i went and tried some trouser that normally i wouldnt be able to squeeze into. but this time it wasnt like that. i was quite chuffed so i went and bought it :)

dont get me wrong, i STILL have a long way to go, but its nice to be able to fit into something and stress about the size.

Junk food cravings!!

I just want junk food. Like now. Too bad I can't, may have to wait till my cheat day to have a bit

Its too slow!!

Just weighed myself and in the past week I've only lost a pound.. So from 15st 1 lb to just 15st . This is really not that pleasing, especially when I lost like 4 pounds one week :(

Biggest loser and Darren criss ..

So I was randomly watching biggest loser uk and theres this woman that got eliminated, yet 3 months later it showed her again and she looked sooo slim!!!. She lost 4 and a half stones ! I wish I could do the same, major boost in my motivation right now! And Darren criss is just my obsession right now he's Just soo cute!!

Jogging with little sister

So my sister came jogging because she wanted to lose some weight to. But by the time we jogged for a minute she stopped and said "fuck this" and started waking all the back. Fucking hilarious!!! Btw this is my first post on my new iPhone!!! :D

Cheating

So it was my birthday yesterday but my family came and celebrated it today suprising me when I got home. They brought out a nice birthday cake and I was a bit weary of it first but not wanting to steP on anyone's toes I went ahead and ate a small slice. Hopefully I didn't put any weight on but it sucks that I couldn't eat the whole dam delicious cake!!!! Okay, rant over :)

Josh Peck - Big inspiration

He inspires me to lose all my weight and he look absolutely hot. ;)

BTW - i am gay lol

Envy

you know those people who eat loads of crap and never put much or anything on? i do. MY SISTER. And some people may say that those types of people exercise all the time to cancel out the things they eat but my sister hardly does any and still stay slim. Why did she get the amazing fat burning genes and i get the not-so-great-at-burning-fat genes.

BUT apparently the fat that i have is proportioned equally in my body whereas other people may have most of their fat in their belly or their ass or their thighs ... I dont know if this is an advantage or not. it probably isnt.

Kids

Ive decided that if i were to have any kids in the distant future, i am so making sure they eat pretty healthly and exercise daily... I would never put any future children of mine to go through obesity which could lead to so many problems ive endured.

saving time...

So i was waiting for the bus to come so i could get home from town, but i thought why not save time by running back home? im glad i did it, because i was able to get home, workout whilst doing it and meaning i dont have to do it later....

i was also in town to get my ears pierced but the place was closed till tuesday so i gotta wait till then :(

The saturdays- Notorious

I am currently LOVING this song by The Saturdays!!! its also currently being repeatedly bashed on my ipod constantly especially during my workout!!!

Check it out!!

Pho, the best noodle soup ive ever had

Being half Vietnamese, i do have the benefit of having tried home cooked Pho and i gotta say it is one of the most fufilling and tasteful dishes ive ever had. Not to mention it is quite healthy :) (although im not sure about the rice noodles, they may be high in carbs) i prefer chicken Pho, but beef is nice too

Eurgh, still disgustingly obese

just randomly hating my obesity...
its been a month ish of working out and dieting, yet its gonna be loooong before i see any changes but i am still persevering with my workout :) 30 mins of cardio and 20 mins of weightlifting today, was exhausting

i want kimchi

i am currently craving kimchi like mad ever since i saw it on a korean drama and apparently its healthy for you. It also contains my favourite ingredients including cabbage, green onions, radish, with various spicy seasoning then fermented. YUM.
Now i just need to find it in the UK, and im pretty sure id have to go to a ASIAN cash and carry store but the thought of going there scares me... (im too white even if im asian) i might try ASDA but if not then Wing Fat here i come

UPDATE: i found it in an asian store, and it is soo NIIIIIICCCCEEEEE!!!!!!! 

i dont want to show my face to everyone...

i still hate the fact i look like a whale, and i dont want to show this body to anyone. My friends keep pestering me to come over but i just cant face having to show my fat face to anyone until ive lost a significant amount of weight. Its one of the reasons i dont want to attend my college prom or attend a last leaver's meal with my friends (were all going our seperate ways ).

dancing !

I do enjoy walking, jogging, using the cross trainer and lifting weight to help with my weightloss... But if there is one thing i love doing is dancing, and i mean dancing like hip hop. I wish i could join a class but i am quite shy to go and join one. Maybe one day...

There was this guy that came around to my house asking anyone who wanted to take karate lessons and i told him to come back another day to see if any of my siblings wanted to do it. He hasnt come back yet, and i wish he could because i would so love to learn how to beat the CRAP out of people!! haha joking of course... but it does look fun and i need something new to help aid in my weightloss :)

just weighed myself

So i know that you shouldnt weigh yourself on a carpet because it wont give you an accurate reading and that you shouldnt weigh yourself too often (recommended once per week) but i just felt like i had to weigh myself. So i was shocked to see myself gain half a stone in a day!! Fortunatley i was weighing in my room with carpet flooring so i went downstairs to a hard surface and weighed myself again. yup, im still at the same weight of 15st 1 lb THANK GOODNESS.

Trying to be positive

So yeah, i thought that i making progress with the weightloss, some of my old clothes that i thought was too tight had become looser, even my blazer that i wore for prom in high school 2 years back was becoming loose on my body. However after having my last biology lesson in college (AM GONNA MISS SOME PEOPLE!! Especially Gloria, she was so cool)  i took a picture with my friend Gloria. Usually i would never allow my picture to be taken because i would be very self cousious of myslef but today i thought "why not, i lost abit a weight, i surely wouldnt look to bad" After the photograph was taken i looked at the photo and gasped to myself in my head. My face still looked really fat and ugly and it looked as if i didnt make any progress. This got me a little down for a bit but then i remembered watching a youtube video by Johneepixels7 and i quickly searched the video on youtube on my phone. His words reassured me that i could be down about it or do something about it. Johneepixels7 is such a lovely guy, and i am gratefull to have found his youtube channel as he is one of the main reasons that i was able to get over my depression. His happy approach to life had helped me re-evaluate my own life and i very thank-full for that. One day i want to thank him personally.(check his channel out! http://www.youtube.com/user/johneepixels7 ) I had also realised that even though i did lose a bit of weight i am still very far from my weight goal and i shouldnt let this discourage me. so here i am persevering with this and hopefully this will pay off.

My ugly past....

I am Obese. There. I've said it.
You know, they say that one of the first steps to recovery is to admit to your problems and my main problem in my weight. I hate this fact about me so much that for about a month i had become depressed in March 2011. I hated correct word> Despised myself and my body, and in the month of March where i had finished my performance of my A2 Drama performance i had become someone who would go home, look in the mirror and cry all night in my bed. OMG... Im a little bit tearing up from writing this really painful experience. I am somewhat of an hypocrite. I used to look at depressed people and the idea of self harm and think to myself "why cant you just be happy?" i thought as the same as everyone who were just a single-minded and thought self harm were just a way to gain attention. After going through my depression i know now that it is not the case. I had self harmed myself quite a few times during one the the most difficult days of my depression and i do have the scars (although fading). During self harming, i found it was a way to help relieve some of my emotional pain that i felt, the feeling of being a "FATASS" and "FUGLY" and that in a way i was punishing myself because i had allowed myself to become so obese. I pushed my friends away, became really quite and didnt feel like speaking much about anything. I didnt feel like life was worth living at all as a fat teen, and my closest friends sensed this. thinking back, it was quite obvious that i was depressed. In general i am a very happy guy who enjoys life, always smiling. My friends would ask what was wrong with me and i would hide the truth ans tell them everything was fine. The interesting thing was that in my college lessons, i was less obvious and that most people was oblivious to the fact i was hurting deep inside. However i think that it maybe the fact that in lessons, it had distracted me temporarily from my growing pain and i could focuss on something else.... but once that had finished i was was consumed with my emotions again.
i would say that i had never felt anything like this before, and the pain of looking at a mirror and looking at my fat chubby round face, my huge arms, my disgusting man-boobs, my fat belly, my humongous ass and legs really used to get me tearing up all the time. i hated looking at myself so much that i wouldnt dare to take another look at myself and any references to fat people made me very self consious. One very painful memory would be during my depression, i would be dragged into the city center by my friends and whilst we were walking, my friends told me to look around and then pointed to a fat obese asian guy and said " Look, its you." I know that they didnt mean in a rude way at all but the minute i heard this i had shouted at my friend to shut up and went into a store and started crying. i COULD NEVER FORGET THIS MOMENT. i got home and cried and cried and cried. i took out the sharp metal end of a pencil sharpener and started cutting myself.

Ofcourse i eventually got over my depression and it wasnt till mid april i decided to do something about this weight. I wasnt going to let it rule my life forever and i knew that things had to be changed. Initially weighing about 18stones last year when i started going to the gym (although after about a few months i had to quite because i couldnt really afford to fork out 25 pounds a month... im a teen!) i got lazy and gained a little back. after re-weighing myself a year later in April i weighed at 16st 4lb which is better than last year but ultimately i have got ALOT to lose before being a healthier weight (healthy weight for me would be around 9-10st). Through currently eating healthier and exericising i have gotten myself down to 15st 1lb as of 23/05/2011 which i feel is making progess but still along way to go.

BTW i never told anyone why i got depressed, not even to my best friend although maybe one day i will..

What Im here for...

So im starting this personal blog to document my journey to achieving weight loss. I feel that i should document my journey in some way, but i wasnt sure how to do it. At first i thought i should tweet about it in my twitter which is here > http://twitter.com/luwingkit93 but i mainly use twitter to tweet about random shit. Plus i dont feel like posting anything about weight loss on it as it is a very personal thing to be discussing and i dont really quite like the idea of random people reading about it. Also people dont want to hear me rant on myself about this....

So..... this is where this blog came about! i love the title i gave it, this is almost like a diary. As i said before this is just my own personal blog where i just write about lossing wieght and i dont expect to have anyone reading this but if you do end up passing by and happen to read it then feel free to do so. I dont mind.

The background story....

So... im kinda new to this blogging thing....
Introductions first i guess....
Hi! My name is Wingkit but i'd prefer to be called Kit. Im a British teen living in Manchester, England and i am just about to finish college and hopefull go to Nottingham Trent University in October to do a couse in Interior Architecture and Design. I am also going to be 18 soon which means im techniquely an "adult" but i dont feel like one, not yet anyways.